I dunno about you, but being Asian, my heritage is a huge part of my life.
Simple things like dining ettiquette, the way we treat adults and strangers, and even the food (ok, food isn’t a simple thing, but who’s complaning?) have roots in cultural ties.
For example, language. Koreans use honorifics in certain levels: friendly and casual, polite, extremely polite, MEGA MEGA polite, and then there’s the downright rude one you reserve for really close friends. It’s confusing, so don’t try it unless you’re Asian yourself.
But the main topic I want to rant about today is…(drumroll….never mind. That’s too cheesy. Some big bursts of bagpipes, please) ASIAN DRAMAS/POP CULTURE.
Yes, I have decided to tackle the biggest subject on earth, besides the topic of why me and mushrooms should never go together.
Anyways, here’s the gist: Asian drama are solely responsible for my noticable drop in IQ. Asian Pop Culture (hereby referred to as APC) is purely in charge of why I have turned so bitter until it gave me the right to openly bad mouth the media networks of my country.
I’m not saying all music and all dramas are that bad. There actually have been a few productive drama series, as well as several Korean artists I really enjoy.
But lately, the words “Korean Drama” has been related synonymous to…well, Boys Over Flowers.
Originally based on the manga/comic book Hana Yori Dango, this atrocity aired in the early months of 2009. Of course, I was one of the idiots watching it like a maniac.
I guess I’ll be fair enough to say that it is not a sob-wracking as Twilight, but after following it like an obsessed patient, I felt slightly disgusted at how mentally damaged I found myself.
But, to be fair, it was loaded with eye-candy.
Anyways, BOF is one thing. It eventually ended, and the fan-craze died out (although there are still those stalkerish die-hard fans). But the POP media of Korea is something else entirely.
SNSD, for example?
This sugary, fluffy, and altogether vomit-inducing girl’s group first debuted in 2007. I had no knowledge of their existence until 2009, when their number one song, Gee, came out.
And, if you do your research well enough, you’ll find that SNSD had a lasting influence on my generation.
The problem with these groups are one thing: they don’t die out. They produce song after horrible song that somehow rocket to number 1 on the charts for several weeks. There are some singers, artists, and even those teenage bands that I find tolerable, but generally, these clones give me a headache and the sick need to yell at something.
SNSD, therefore, is THE face of all Korean teenage band/girl groups. They are the representative, the cover, and so on, and they deserve to have eggs thrown at them. I honestly can’t tell one girl from the other.
But enough hate. I guess they have enough trouble already, and it’s the agency to blame. Korean entertainment agencies are terrifying, and you must never ever get tied with them.
That’s it for girl bands. Boy bands? Oh geez.
Super Junior, SS501, FT Island, SHINee, DBSK, Big Bang, 2PM, etc., just to name a few.
This will probably get me thrown in the ocean with my mouth taped shut and the words “BIG FAT HATER” written in permenant ink across my forehead, but seriously? Listen to my advice: don’t go near them with a ten foot pole.
To be fair, they’re all pretty cute, with the nice skin, silky hair, pouty lips and whatnot. They all work their butts off to make it big and so on, but unless you’re prepared to have big, open eyes that are connected to an empty brain and a mouth that can only say: “I love ——–” over a thousand times, yeah.
Huh. I just noticed something.
Today is May 1st. To most people, it probably represents the beginning of spring, only a month left of school, flower blooming, etc. but for all the die-hard Korean fans, it means one thing, and one thing only: Korean Music Festival.
I live in Southern California. That is a fact. i live near LA and Hollywood. Another fact. And I also live in a Korean infested area, so that all the middle-aged ladies in town somehow know each other one way or another.
And this is how I came to know of KMF.
It takes place at Hollywood Bowl, where millions of Koreans and mixed Koreans and Asians and basically everyone who love Korea come to see Korean music stars that flew from Seoul exclusively for this event.
As you can see, the hype of Korean pop music is atrocious.
So I’ll leave you with a parting thought:
Beautiful boys, pretty girls
Autotuned singing with unfortunate twirls
Is it worth it?
Sardonically Yours 