Category Archives: Rants, rants, rants…

HOW F*CKED UP DOES THIS GET?


Ahem. Normally, profanity isn’t my thing. A couple of swearwords at a broken toe here, some uttered cuss words in disbelief, but I don’t generally use “inappropriate language.”

At least, in the public sense.

So. What type of atrocity would make me (GASP) use the F-WORD???

Let’s say it’s something that deserves to be trampled by the horses of hell, stabbed with Satan’s knife multiple times, and kicked through the ozone and sued for being so utterly ridiculous.

Can you guess?

It starts with a T.

Actually, an M.

It’s MLIT.

Not MIT.

MLIT.

Perhaps you’ve heard of it?

First off, let’s begin with introducing my favorite website. It’s hilarious, funny, and inspiring. To do stupid things, yes, but incredibly witty things.

I’m not too convincing, am I?

So, anyways, this brilliant website apparently has a ripoff.

By the name of My Life is Twilight (to forgo with My Life is Average), this ridiculous, horrid stain on humanity has numerous fangirls writing about how the most stupid things in life (that were technically there before the wretched book) can relate to their beloved Edward. Or Jacob. Or whoever else.

Stephanie Meyer? If you are reading this, please don’t be offended. I don’t know you, so I don’ t think it’s fair to say I hate you, but I don’t think your books are great guidebooks to making out with your German Sheperd so you can feel like you’re kissing  Jacob.

That said, I need to go now.

~Nemphy

P.S. You know MLIA? It has sister websites like this and this. See ya.

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Damn you, Twilight


Oh the social norm. Giggiling girls flaunting sparkly lipgloss and smeared eyelids. And, most of all, that bloody book, Twilight.

Seriously.

 I’m a teenage girl. At least, I’m supposed to be one. My hormones, which have been sleeping since the day I appeared in my mother’s stomach, are still in coma. So when girls are smearing on mascara and eyeliner, while fluttering eyelashes at hairy baboons who care about nothing but some stupid sport, I’m looking on in curiosity, wondering what could drive the members of my gender to such idiocy.

This could get me killed, you know.

But as I’m braving massive hordes of females whose brains have been reduced to Taylor Swift songs and Justin Bieber, one of my friends came up to me with a sinful smirk.

I know, I’m so poetic.

Anyways, my friend bribed me. To read Twilight. For thirty bucks.

In case you’re wondering, I’ve never read Twilight. I never watched the movie. The only names I’m familiar with is Edward Cullen, and someone named Bella. I also know that weird werewolf guy due to the numerous New Moon commercials.

Yeah. Sue me.

So since I am not at all familiar with that dreadful book, and have no interest in becoming aquainted to it, my friend offered a deal, as you already know.

And these are my thoughts on the first five chapters:

You’ve got to be kidding me. How the hell does this sell?

So basically, you’ve got some whining, ungrateful brat who WILLINGLY comes to a foggy town, and whines about the weather, the kindness of everyone, and how she wants to go back home. Oh, sure, she doesn’t, because she says, “My mother’s happiness is more important than I am, but also because i am sooooo selfless.”

Bullshit.

She promptly tells one of her admirers, Mike, to go to hell. She whines some more, before, “OOH!! PRETTY PEOPLE!!!”

And Edward acts like a dickhead. Then he acts all polite. Then he saves her life and acts like a dickhead again. Then he tells Bella, “We can’t be friends. But I want to. Let’s be friends. But you’ll regret it. Should we be friends?”

Seriously, if I were Bella, I’d tell him to go before I screamed rape.

But nooo, she tells a possible lunatic coming from a psycho ward, “Yeah, sure. Cause, like, you’re beautiful, and therefore can’t be at all crazy, right?”

So now, I have to brave another two hundred pages to get a measly sum of thirty dollars.

I think I’ll be dead before I get through the last chapter.

Ah, well. I’ll probably update some more about my thoughts on the later chapters. Or, maybe I’ll just return the book and tell my friend, “Unless you want to send me to my grave, you will not say another word about Twilight.”

Probably the latter.

~Nemphy

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Of the Facebook groups littering my front page


I dunno about you, but I basically spend half my time on the computer. And half of that time is spent on Facebook.

I have a life. It’s just on Facebook. Don’t judge me.

Anyways, this is basically how my computer schedule goes:

-Check email

-Check Facebook

-Check my grades to make sure my teachers haven’t decided they officially hate me

-Play Tetris

And so on. I usually get Facebook updates via email, so I guess you should know how my internet life is related.

Anyways, I actually spent a day off the computer (which is a terrifyingly shocking to know, if you knew me) and the next thing I know, I’m bombarded with fifty emails. Half of them are from facebook. And three quarters are group invitations. After deleting all of them, I check the homepage.

The only updates there are is useless trash about which of my friends joined what type of pointless group.

For example: “______ became a fan of (and I swear I’m not making this up) “I redo high-fives if they weren’t good enough.””

Yeah, okay. I can live with that. Especially since I barely know you. But seeing I have about two hundred more of those “updates” about people becoming fans of useless trash, it’s pretty frustrating.

Frustrating? Who am I kidding? It’s DAMN ANNOYING.

People of this earth and have a facebook account, I shall make a proclamation: Please, thou must get a life.

~Nemphy

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Above and Beyond?


As a future writer, I have a statement to make:

What limits imagination?

People say, “Imagination is unlimited,” or “Everybody has an active imagination.” I suppose they say this to have the Scrooge come out of the them.

Ha. Figures.

When you look at it, the average person has 10% pure imagination, and the rest is influenced by tv, books, or–God forbid–manga. Go to a site where they say they support pure, imaginative writing/music/art, and you’ll see that most of the works have been done before, albeit for the worse or the better. For example, romance novels. Some cliche techniques are:

  • Arranged marriages
  • A girl cross-dressing in an all boy’s school/pop band/some sort of all boy’s group
  • A girl being the “uninterested” one of the numerous fangirls flocking a jock/celebrity/rich pretty boy
  • A girl being a scholarship student to a rich school
  • (In the more rare cases) A girl so outstandingly beautiful and talented that guys can’t help but fall over you
  • A innocent little country bumpkin who makes a playboy fall for her.
  • Etc, etc.

Damnit people, go read an effin DICKENS and put down those romance novels. It’s annoying.

*The same goes for drama watchers, anime watcher, manga readers, etc.

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